shattered

For those of you that have just begun reading my blog I thought I'd repost how we started our journey into the horrible world of having a loved one with cancer.



that's the only word I have for Oct.1, 2008.......shattered. This is a day I'll never forget, although I'd like to! Mom went in for what was to be a routine gall bladder removal and was diagnosed with cancer. Mom had asked me to come up for the surgery. So being the favorite daughter (for those of you that don't know us, I'm the only daughter!) I went to NY for a few days to help out. My brother David picked me up from Albany airport and took me down to Cooperstown hospital. We got there about 2:00 and Mom was scheduled to be out of surgery soon. David hung around to see Mom but had to leave to get back to work that night. It was getting to be 4-4:30 and both Dad and I were getting uneasy about the length of time the surgery was taking. We both knew if they had to open her up instead of doing laproscopically like they had originally planned it would take longer. I think we both knew if that was the case it was going to be a longer recovery. I don't think either of us were thinking something terminal.....at least I wasn't.
So when the surgeon came to get us he took us in a small room. Now he may have been a good surgeon but he had zero people skills!! In a nut shell he told us Mom had gall bladder cancer, it was bad, there was no treatment that works and to take her home so she can get her affairs in order. BHAM.....there it was.....my Mom's going to die. No offer of second opinion, no nothing.....just take her home.
I use to wonder why people sometimes do odd things when they get bad news. Now I know! You think of the dumbest things.....like not getting to go to a restaurant or a store.....just dumb things. Your mind goes numb, you wonder why people keep going about their business. Then you go in overdrive and now all these things have to be done and everything is urgent and everyone has plans, etc.
Dad was a mess which made me nervous because I had never seen him so distraught. I knew I had to call the family which wasn't exactly on my "things I'd like to do in my life" list. We somehow managed to pull it together and went to meet Mom as they took her up to her room. This hospital is old and they have double rooms which means she had a room mate. The room was very small and no room to sit. I pulled up a chair and squeezed it by the bed. The nurses kept telling me that I'd need to sleep in the family room and couldn't stay with Mom. Needless to say I stayed with Mom! She was very groggy and I wasn't trusting the nurses to take care of her! Mom doesn't remember much about the hospital stay which is probably good.
Nathan flew in from NC. David picked him up and they came to the hospital. Tim lives close and came when he got off work the next morning. Mom's sister and 2 nieces drove from NC to spend the weekend. I was fortunate to be able to ride back with them which gave me an extra day to spend with Mom. Scott came to NC when Mom started treatments.
I believe God moved me to NC and had Deb working at Duke for this exact reason!! (along with Shantel) Deb went and found people she knows who referred her to the best Oncologist. She also got the name of the best surgeon who specializes in this area. She got phone numbers and Dad called and an appointment was made for the end of Oct. with Dr. Hope Uronis. Dad and Mom have moved in with me for the time being. I've given them my room which is very large and has a master bath. We call it their apartment. They have two comfy chairs to relax in and I set up an area for Dad to set up a little office. It's been nice having them here. I'd prefer it to have been under different circumstances but this is what it is so we're making it as fun as possible. Molly the crazy labradoodle had to get use to them but she likes them here now!
Treatments of radiation and chemo started the first part of Nov. and ended on Christmas eve. Mom has done fantastic throughout this first round. She's been really tired and her hands have black spots on them but otherwise she's done great! The Dr's are pleased with everything so far. Mom now has a break until Feb. 2 when she'll go back for the checkup, scans, blood work, etc to see how the first round has done. Depending on what the tests reveal will determine the next steps.
Please continue to uphold Dad, Mom and our entire family in prayer. This is extremely difficult for all of us. I think we've all done well so far....or at least we're acting like it!